From: Wouter Groeneveld
To: Kev Quirk
Subject: March PenPals
Date: 01 March 2024

Hi Kev,

All right, I'm next! I hope you and your family are well; and are able to manage the work on the smallholding next to the busy daily life juggling work and having two kids. That alone sounds like a real challenge. The most memorable part must have been the time you locked yourself inside the chicken pen! Our pen is much more modest, it's not hard to get trapped in, but it's very hard not to fall down because of all the mud: thank you, Belgian weather. (I heard UK is even worse ;-))

I'm not sure whether or not I need to do an introduction; I think we both kept an eye on each others' blogs and interacted based on a few posts over the last few years. Since this is going to be published, I'll be brief: I've kept myself busy as an academic, researching creativity in software engineering, writing books, teaching, and the like. I switched back to industry a month ago and I'm still adjusting to the change in pace. Besides that, I love baking bread, hence my blog/company name "Brain Baking", where the thinking and the baking meets, hopefully producing a nice fragrant bun. Freshly baked thoughts, so to speak. I live in the eastern part of Belgium with my wife and daughter, not far from the Dutch and German borders.

Speaking of adjustment, I love writing, but find myself doing it less often as the flexibility academia offers is suddenly gone. Do you adhere to some kind of schedule for yourself to write and publish your stuff? I usually have lots of ideas that are written down in my analog journal -- that's right, I'm a pen kind of guy -- but have trouble lately finding the time to give the idea form.
When are you going to change your blog engine again? I think it's about high time, it's been stable for at least three weeks, that's unheard of ;-)

Let's talk bread, because, we have to! What kind of bread do you like? Please don't say that because of the fat boy 40 thing you're avoiding wheat or carbs all-together. In that case, what kind of bread does your wife like? Our bakeries produce inedible stuff the last few decades, it's really bad, quality or taste has been pushed into a corner in favor of margins and profit. How do you experience the bread culture in UK? The few times I've been to London lately, I did find lovely sourdough bread, but it came at a high price...

Looking forward to having this extended conversation!

Write to you soon,
Wouter

From: Kev Quirk
To: Wouter Groeneveld
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 04 March 2024

Hey Wouter,

Thanks for the email, and for agreeing to be a part of this little experiment of mine.

My wife still likes to remind me of when I managed to get myself stuck in the chicken coop. 😂 We've since moved them into one of the stables for the winter, but they will be going back out into the field (and their coop) once the weather improves a little.

The rain (and mud) has been CRAZY this year. The sun is starting to come out and the grass is starting to grow, but I can't mow it yet and the fields are just bogs at the moment.

I actually don't adhere to any kind of schedule. I usually write over the course of a few days, between other jobs, then I schedule a post for the next day, usually. At any one time, I usually have 3 or 4 drafts in the works. Sometimes, though, there's something I just want to get out, so I'll write, edit and publish those in 1 sitting. Because I've done them in 1 sitting though, they're usually full of typos. I don't mind that though.

I enjoy handwriting too...kind of. I currently have a Remarkable 2 tablet that I use for note taking. It's the closest thing to a "real" notepad that I've ever had, and it's more secure than having a simple notebook, as a PIN is required to unlock the device. This is better for me, given the industry that I work in.

I've always wanted a nice fountain pen, but being left-handed, it's nearly impossible for me to write with one. Same with chalk boards and white boards. The struggle is real, Wouter! haha

I love bread, and even though I'm doing this fat boy thing, I'm still eating bread. Life's too short to be without the nicer things in life - I'm just approaching everything in moderation. We don't really have any fancy bread in our house, we usually just have a brown seeded loaf in the cupboard. Now and then we will get a "tiger loaf" and I love a couple slices of tiger loaf with some butter on. Similarly we will get a sourdough bread as a treat occasionally. I really like sourdough with some melted butter and honey mixed together.

I'm hungry now!

How did you end up getting into baking bread? Academia and baking seem completely unrelated, so I'd be interested in understand how you ended up doing both?

Talk soon,

Kev

From: Wouter Groeneveld
To: Kev Quirk
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 06 March 2024

Hi Kev,

Our chicken run smells awful thanks to the ever-pouring rain so I'm very relieved to see a few sunrays today; it's even warm enough on the side of the house to play with our Golden Retriever for a bit during lunch break. One of the perks of working from home!

I never have drafts, but I do have a lot of ideas floating around that are either jotted down in my analog notebook (with a 💡 symbol marking "idea") or in an Obsidian scratchpad that's quick to access through an Alfred workflow (jam CMD+Space, type "OO [my note]" and press Enter). If I remember to add the correct tag I'll be able to find it later!

Funny that you mention your left-handed writing problems: I'm a leftie too! Fortunately for me, I'm not an "overhead" writer, which means I don't smear out the ink I just wrote with my fingers/hand (see https://glytterati.com/blogs/articles/basics-of-left-handed-calligraphy I hold my hand below the text I write). Fountain pens take some getting used to but once you've experienced that smooth flow and sense of writing you'll have trouble readjusting when grabbing a cheap ballpoint pen. That is, provided you're using the right paper! That was a beginner mistake of me: most inks - even with pens with small nibs - don't write well on standard paper.

As for getting into bread baking: the bread baking machine my parents gifted me when I moved out in 2008 was the first thing that got me started I think. Then you suddenly have to cook/bake stuff for yourself! When we were little we went on vacations to Spain and I always enjoyed the bread there but couldn't place my finger on it as to why that's much better than the tasteless junk we were fed in Belgium. Now I know: long fermentation times.
And then I discovered https://www.thefreshloaf.com/ and a whole new world opened up. I started buying "bread bibles" (Bread by Jeffrey Hamelman, Michael Suas, and the like), experimenting and mostly throwing away failed results, until it somehow started to click. It's so satisfying to have your hands in wet dough compared to staring at code on a blue-lit screen. It's also easy to enthuse people on that subject. I also give bread baking workshops and people are very thankful; compared to my ex-students in academia that is haha.

As for academia; I've always wanted to get a PhD but started working in industry because the offer I got after my Master's wasn't exciting. Five years ago I got a part-time job as teaching assistant and really liked that, plus was tired of my current work so I jumped at the opportunity to pursue a PhD as soon as we discovered there was a budget. Unfortunately, after that the budget evaporated, the index adjustments pretty much killed interesting research positions, and trying to get tenured is next to impossible (see my blog post), so I now find myself back in industry, this time as a freelancer. We'll see where things go from here.

Cheers,
Wouter

From: Kev Quirk
To: Wouter Groeneveld
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 08 March 2024

Hey Wouter,

Hopefully your cluckers will dry out and the mud bath will cease to continue…I know that’s what I’m hoping for, at least.

On working from home, do you do it permanently? If so, how do you find it? I personally work from home 2 days a week; any more and I really struggle. I like to be around people too much. Also, when at home, I end up working very long hours and taking few breaks. I know this is a self-discipline thing, but I just really dislike WFH. I do like having the headspace to focus on things occasionally, but overall it’s not for me.

I’ve tried “underwriting” in the past and it feels so alien. I’m sure if I practiced it enough, I’d get used to it, but I can’t smudge the eInk on my Remarkable 2, so I don’t need to adapt my writing style. :)

I do remember when I was as teenager, I went through a phase of REALLY liking pens. I had quite a few of them, and I do remember having a calligraphy pen that had interchangeable nibs to different thicknesses. I could never make the calligraphy look that nice though.

Is calligraphy something you practice regularly?

My wife and I have thought about getting a bread baking machine a few times, but never got around to it. There’s nothing like the smell of freshly baked bread though!

My wife is a teaching assistant. She’s done it for around 12 years now and really loves it. I don’t think I’d have the patience for it, personally. I barely have enough patience for our kids, never mind other people’s. :-)

Freelancing is something I’d love to do. Particularly web design free lancing. I love tinkering with websites, but I think if I ever did move to freelancing, I’d lose the love for it. When I get a bit older, I think I’m probably going to give up working full time and go consulting as few days a week though. My father passed away when he was 47, I was 23, so I have no intentions of working until I drop dead - life’s for living, not working.

Sorry, that took a morbid turn for a second there. I’ll leave you with a question, if that’s ok…

Of all the different types of bread you bake, which if your favourite?

Talk soon,

Kev

From: Wouter Groeneveld
To: Kev Quirk
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 10 March 2024

Hi Kev,

Our Japanese cherry tree is already beyond its peak blossom time; the sun and the constant buzzing of the bees attracted to the scent and lovely pink flowers make me smile. Sadly, I do struggle to keep that smile once I go back inside and remember what I was doing... Those self-help books with their happy moments: sure, but that feeling evaporates too quickly!

I go to one of our offices once or twice a week. It's something I have to adjust to as well. Before, I had to be on campus to teach, and it's a nice diversion from staring at a blue-lit screen, but my research was still done pretty much from home, since in academia you almost never see your colleagues (overlapping time/teaching schedules; conferences, whatever). Now, most of the work is done remotely, including way too much virtual meetings that result in a sore back and neck. I really hate meeting cultures...

I have no knack for calligraphy and my handwriting still is a mess, with or without fountain pens 🤣
In Belgian universities, you can't be a teaching assistant for more than 6 years. Then you have to move on to another statute (or job...). Patience can be learned! But yeah first-year students are generally speaking not a lot of fun to work with, while second-year and higher is much more satisfying. Groups are smaller, most of them are there because they care, and you sometimes get really nice feedback.

One of the reasons why I started freelancing is precisely because of what you mentioned. I now work 4 times a week instead of 5 and can take holidays whenever I want (within limits: of course the company won't earn anything then). I'm really sorry to hear about your father! We've been to a similar situation last year when Kristien's father died. He was older and so were we, but the impact was/is huge. He just retired and then poof, was gone. He said for years he wanted to go on vacation to France but never did. Why? I don't know. We like post-proning things for "when we have time". His time was suddenly up. That was one month before Kristien had to give birth to our daughter...
I wonder: how do you protect your family time when it comes to work? Are you strict on for instance not doing any overtime etc? Have you taken any other precautions? What's keeping you from not starting to work for yourself right now?

Cheers,
Wouter

P.S. 15% rye sourdough bread (the Belgian alternative for the French "pain de campaigne")

From: Kev Quirk
To: Wouter Groeneveld
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 13 March 2024

Hey Wouter,

Teaching assistants over there are clearly very different to hear. My wife works in a primary school (ages 4 - 11) and is a permanent fixture to support the teacher in the classroom. So it’s very much a permanent thing. We’ve discussed her flipping to becoming a “proper” teacher a few times, but she likes that there’s very little stress with a TA, when compared to a teacher. Obviously less money, but money isn’t everything. :)

I loath meetings. I think we all have far too many of them. I particularly hate bullshit meetings that are simply a waste of everyone’s time…busy work. Folks in my team know that I prefer not to sit on meetings all day, and thankfully it’s a culture we’ve managed to stay away from as a result.

It’s really hard to lose a parent. Such a shame that your daughter won’t get to meet her grandfather. I hope you’re all coping with the loss.

With regards to time management, it’s really difficult and something I work very hard on. I work for an American Bank, and I’m a global leader, having teams across the UK, Europe, the US and Singapore, so time management is very important. When I applied for this job, I laid my cards on the table and was honest with my potential new boss. I told them that my family is my priority and I have no interest in working late on a regular basis. Obviously, if there’s an issue that requires my attention, all bets are off, that’s just the nature of the InfoSec industry, but when we’re “business as usual” I have no desire to attend meetings after 6pm.

Credit to them, they completely agreed and have stuck to it. I love my job, I feel supported by my employers and I genuinely think this is where I’ll work for the rest of my career…and that’s what’s holding me back from freelancing. I earn a very good salary, work with great people, for a company that looks after me. So I don’t feel the need to move on at the moment. As I get older, I think I will then to reduce my time working, but not yet. I want to make my pension a little stronger first. :)

What do you think is the hardest part of transitioning into a where you’re working for yourself? I have my own opinions, but I’ve never actually asked anyone who works for themselves this question, so really interested to hear your opinions.

Thanks,

Kev

From: Wouter Groeneveld
To: Kev Quirk
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 17 March 2024

Hi Kev,

Sorry to hear/read about your fire eel, BTW! Hope he/she'll recover sometime soon, what an adventure!

All right I think we both mean something else when we say "teaching assistant"; a TA in academia is a statute with limited duration in which you work under a professor, I didn't know it can also have a meaning in context of primary schools.

It sounds like you have a very challenging job managing and working across time zones, and it also sounds like you do love what you do, happy to hear that! As for working for yourself, that depends on the kind of freelancer you want to be. For me, there's little difference: as a consultant, I sell myself ;-) or my "services". I still look for and apply for jobs the same way. The software engineering world in Belgium is quite small so it helps that I have a few connections from past gigs. Instead of being on the payroll I now send an invoice and have a bit more freedom but that's it. At my current client, we have external people from consultancy companies (on payroll) working together with internal people working together with freelancers, and nobody cares (I think).

The biggest advantage? If I want to buy a book to learn about a topic, I don't need to go through 5 levels of approval to get the cost reimbursed! Also less whining about company car x vs company car y: you choose everything yourself provided you can afford it of course. (I know freelancers who love to brag with hardware and a nice car. I'm not one of them: the more money that stays in the business, the more profit I can get out of it)

Something else I've been meaning to ask: I'm quite jealous of the countryside where you live: the rolling green hills and the nearby presence of nature (at least I think). Does this mean you have to to travel a while to reach "civilization" for shopping etc or is that still okay? Here in Belgium everything's crammed together which sometimes can feel a bit depressing. Still, I'm always glad I can return to my home from a few days of London so it's far from Big City-life, thankfully!

Cheers,
Wouter

From: Kev Quirk
To: Wouter Groeneveld
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 22 March 2024

Hey Wouter,

Sorry, crazy week! And thanks for the kind words about Eric. It’s sad, but life goes one.

Yeah, teaching assistants are clearly different things in our respective countries haha. What my wife does is also called “classroom assistant” so that may be what they’re called in Belgium? Either way, it’s just semantics. :)

My job is challenging, but I do really enjoy it, so it’s all good. My dad said to me once “do something you love for a living and you will never work a day in your life”. That was great advice. I don’t think I could cope going to work to a job I hate every day. I have friends who do jobs they hate and they’re just miserable.

I love the idea of working for myself, and I likely will in the future, but for now, I’m happy where I am.

Where we live is a great balance between the countryside and being part of civilisation. We live in a small village of around 50 houses. We have a community centre, a village pub and not much else. What we do have in abundance is those rolling green hills you mentioned. So taking the kids to school, or going shopping, or even heading to the local shop for a bottle of milk, are all a drive away, but it’s not a long drive. The nearest town with a large shopping centre is a 5 minute drive away; the kids school is the same. My office is anywhere between 15-30 mins depending on traffic. So yeah, we live in the countryside, but we have a good balance, I think.

My wife and I come from a large town, and it’s weird - we’ve only been living down here for around 18 months, but whenever we go back home to visit friends of family, everything feels so hemmed in. So stuffy. So….busy. I didn’t think I’d feel that way quite so soon. Down here in Wales, it’s definitely a slower pace of life, which I really like. Everyone knows everyone too; some people don’t like that, but I really like that. It’s great being able to walk down the street and pass the time of day with people. Or go the pub on my own and know there’s going to be friends there. It’s a lovely feeling.

Would you ever move away from the city?

Kev

From: Wouter Groeneveld
To: Kev Quirk
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 27 March 2024

Hi Kev,

No worries, I know the feeling!

A small village of about 50 houses? That's barely a village at all, wow! The closest thing that we have here in the vicinity must be villages in the French part of Belgium in the Adrennes but even then...
We live in a sub-municipality of a nearby city; including all municipalities I think that's about 100k inhabitants? I do like taking the bike for everything if possible and it's about 10 minutes from the city centre so that's great, even though the city itself is not even half the size of something like Antwerp. It's big enough. I would feel miserable living in Brussels or Antwerp. Although... Ghent is pretty cool, very hip with chique dining places and alternative things to visit.

Going to a local pub and knowing everyone sounds great. We do see familiar lots of faces in our village, but I admit to preferring being left alone haha. I'm also not much of a pub-goer; I don't drink, don't smoke, and don't love football. I'd rather have a friends night in/out with a good boardgame. Do you play now and then?

There's no 'moving away from the city' here, by the way. The trouble with Belgium is, even if you don't live in the city, you live en route to another: it's ribbon development all over the place, and you don't want to live next to these roads where people drive 70+ km/h or worse, if it's filled with congested traffic. Which it no doubt will be, as we're also champions of breaking up roads, putting diversion signs on the wrong key points, and never actually fixing anything. I live 30 minutes from the border of The Netherlands and driving there is such a bliss: quiet asphalt, clear signs, no potholes. But more and more tendencies to limit speeds to 90 km/h. Try driving that to Amsterdam instead of the usual 120.

Cheers,
Wouter

From: Kev Quirk
To: Wouter Groeneveld
Subject: RE: March PenPals
Date: 31 March 2024

Hey Wouter,

Happy Easter, if you celebrate that kinda thing.

Yeah, our village is rather small, but we like it that way. We’re slowly getting to know everyone and it feels like a nice little community. It’s very nice. That is one of the challenges living out here though - there’s hardly any public transport links, and being in the Welsh countryside, it’s VERY hilly, which makes riding a bike…interesting.

I’m quite similar to you, actually. I don’t smoke (never have; I find it disgusting), I had my first drink since New Year last week, and I loath football. I also like my own space, which is part of the reason we moved out here. We were out with the kids this morning doing an easter egg hunt and all we could hear were the birds in the trees. It’s a beautiful sunny spring day here. It was gorgeous.

We love a good board game as a family. We try to play ones that involve teamwork rather than competition though. That way, we all win. One of our favourites is Hoot Owl Hoot; we love playing that as a family. The kids are getting a bit older now, so we’re starting to introduce some older games, like Cluedo and Monopoly, which is fun. We also like doing jigsaws as a family. It’s hard keeping the kids away from screens these days, but we try our best.

Well, it’s the last day of the month today, so this is probably going to be the last email I publish on the site. Having said that, don’t feel like this has to be the last email - there’s still a number of folk I’m emailing from the PenPal challenge. If not though, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you better over the last month, Wouter. Thank you so much for agreeing to take part!

Best,

Kev