30 Oct 2022
Back in the 1990’s I wanted a G-Shock watch, so my nan bought me one for Christmas. Here’s the story of what happened to that watch…
So cast your mind back to the late 90s. I was in high school, Saved By The Bell was all the rage, and 13 year old Kev desperately wanted a G-Shock watch.
This was because my good friend, Cockney Chris (he was from Milton Keynes and moved to the north…that made him a cockney to us), had a G-Shock. I remember Chris’ G-Shock being MASSIVE and really cool. I was so jealous.
Then, one day when we were getting changed in the gym for PE (physical education), and he dropped a bombshell…
Did you know that this watch is shock proof? I can throw it on the floor as hard as I can and it will still work.
We all scoffed and told him he was talking bullshit. You’re a dreamer, Chris! We all screamed. Prove it!
So he did. He took his watch off, and threw it on the floor as hard as he could. There were a few scuffs on the case, but the watch was still working perfectly.
We. Were. Astounded!
That night, I went home and told my mum all about it. I wouldn’t shut up about this bloody watch. I went on, and on, and on about it, by all accounts.
Problem is, G-Shock watches aren’t cheap and I didn’t grow up in a particularly affluent family. My mum was (and still is) a cleaner and my stepdad was a road worker. They simply didn’t have the nearly £100 to waste on a watch for me.
And, let’s be honest, the first thing I was going to do was throw it on the floor to test it’s shock-proofness!
Fast-forward to Christmas; I was opening my gifts and there, twinkling away at me, was a beautiful red and black Baby-G watch from my nan.
I couldn’t believe it! My very own G-Shock! Okay, it was a Baby-G, but that was fine. Plus, it looked much better than a full-size G-Shock on my skinny teenage wrist.
This is a similar design to the Baby-G I had
Christmas comes and goes, and I head back to school, proud as punch sporting my fancy new Baby-G watch. I was the talk the of the class! Okay, I wasn’t the talk of the class — no-one really cared — but I felt like I was the talk of the class.
Little did I know that I soon would be the talk of the class, and actually, the entire school.
First day back and we’re on break, out on the yard. My friends and I get talking about my cool new watch and how it’s shock-proof, just like Cockney Chris’.
I get many of the same remarks as Chris got all those months before, so, like Chris, I decided to prove it to them all.
I took the watch off and threw it on the floor as hard as I could.
It smashed into a thousand fucking pieces and all my friends fell about laughing.
I was devastated.
Not only had my beloved Baby-G disintegrated, but so had all my teenage pride. I think a stray tear may have even made its way down my cheek.
I got home that night and immediately phoned my nan. On a landline might I add. It was the 90s, yanno. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Nan, what the hell? I threw my Baby-G on the floor in school today and it smashed!
Nan: YOU THREW YOUR WATCH ON THE FLOOR???!!!
Me: Yeah, they’re shock resistant. Cockney Chris threw his on the floor in PE and nothing happened. That’s what should have happened to mine.
Nan: Well I wasn’t going to pay all that money for a watch, so I got a cheap one from the local market. I wasn’t expecting you to throw the bloody thing on the floor, you idiot! Put your mum on the phone…
Needless to say, the watch was a fake. It was a cheap knock-off that my nan paid £5 for down the local market, but I had no idea. I was a naive kid.
I got the bollocking of my life from my mum (and a slap around the ear). So not only did I have no Baby-G, I got a slap round the ear from my mum, my nan was pissed off at me and I was the laughing stock of the school.
So let this be a lesson to you, folks. Don’t throw your watch on the floor. Learn from my idiocy.
It wasn’t until much later that I got my first real G-Shock. It was when I was in the Army in my early 20s. That thing was a tank and I still have it somewhere.
It survived deployments all over the world, including Iraq and Afghanistan and was still ticking, on its original battery, when I left the Army. It was a fantastic watch.
It’s just as shame my little Baby-G wasn’t quite as robust.
Oh well, we live and learn.