10 More Pointless Facts About Me
The last post was fun and it's seemed to have garnered a few replies so I thought I'd do 10 more pointless facts about me. Because why not. 🤷🏻♂️
Since so many people have took part in this now I figured I’d do some more just for the lols.
1. I have totally useless magic skills
I can do crappy magic tricks that kids love. I can find their card, every time. I can pull coins out their ears, and I can make coins miraculously disappear up my sleeve. I can also juggle.
Kids think I’m a wizard, while their parents just roll their eyes.
2. I’m allergic to something I love
I’m allergic to bananas, but I absolutely love them. They make my tongue swell and my lips itch, but I sometimes put myself through the pain (and the slurred words) for a few hours, just because it’s worth it.
If this isn’t proof that there’s no God, I don’t know what is.
3. I once had an awkward social disaster
So it’s around 16 years ago, my wife and I had been seeing each other for a couple years and she invites me to a family wedding as her +1. It’s an opportunity to meet her extended family, so I had to be on my best behaviour.
For the most part it went well, until I met one of her aunties. You see, her family are huggers, but my family aren’t. So I went for the handshake, and she went for the hug. I completely mistimed it and firmly planted my open hand right into her groin.
Fantastic.
She said “ooooo” I said “ohhh, shit.” then pulled my hand away and awkwardly hugged her. My wife, her sisters, and all her cousins fell about laughing while I wanted the ground to swallow me up. They still laugh about it today, and I still can’t look her aunty in the eye.
We have never spoken of it.
4. I’ve made life changing decisions by the flip of a coin
I’ve written about this before, but I’ve made many life changing decisions with the flip of a coin. I even created a simple little site to do this for me.
My theory is that if I can’t make a decision, I flip a coin. If I’m comfortable with the result, all good. But if I’m not comfortable, that’s kinda making the decision for me anyway as I’d clearly had an opinion, I just didn’t want to admit it. Either way it helps me make decisions.
5. I have a ritual that makes no sense
Shampoo and conditioner have to be used at the same rate. If one runs out before the other, it throws me off completely. I’ll even ration them to keep things balanced.
I know it’s really weird, but I cannot use one more than another. Because who knows what craziness might occur in the world if my shampoo and conditioner get out of whack.
6. I own something weirdly sentimental
When I deployed to Iraq in 2006, my nan gave me a Rhodesian (now Zimbabwe) 25 cent coin for good luck. It seemed like a weird trinket, but she was superstitious like that, so I kept it.
It survived 9 months of Iraq in my pocket, so when I got home, I drilled a hole in it and attached it to my keys, where it still lives today, nearly 20 years later.
My uncle lived in Zimbabwe and she got the coin when she was out there visiting him. So although I don’t believe in luck, the coin does have a lot of sentimental value.
My Rhodesian 25c coin
7. Eye contact makes me uncomfortable
Eye contact makes me very uncomfortable. My wife once told me that I need to make eye contact more, as people can think it’s rude. So I made a concerted effort to make eye contact when I was talking to people.
But then, months later, my wife told me I had gone too far the other way and my constant staring into people’s eyes was too intense. So now, when I’m talking to people, I need to think about making eye contact, but not too much. So I consciously have to look back and forth to the person I’m talking to so I don’t come across as rude, or too intense.
It’s very complicated and I sometimes miss things in conversation because of it. Being a person is hard!
8. I once tried a stupid fad
I did one of those juice diets that promised “detox and clarity.” After 3 days of drinking nothing but vegetable juice, I passed out while bending down to put my walking boots on.
After 3 stitches above my eye, and a very bruised ego when explaining it to the nurse, I never tried a fad diet again.
9. I can’t grow a beard
Well, I physically can. And what a beautiful ginger (with some grey) mane it is! However, as my beard grows, I have this horrible habit of chewing the hair at the side of my mouth. The longer it gets, the further to the side I can chew. So I inevitably end up with a gap in my beard at either side of my mouth.
Me with a beard
10. I talk to myself a worrying amount
I’m talking full conversations, too. Not just a bit of muttering, but proper back-and-forth dialogue.
That’s fine though…right?
Final thoughts
There you go, folks. That’s 10 more useless facts about me. You now have 20 of them! These ones aren’t really repeatable by other people, as they’re very personal to me. But if you want to do a similar post, as we’re all weirdly wonderful in our own ways, please do so and don’t forget to let me know.
The last post was fun and it's seemed to have garnered a few replies so I thought I'd do 10 more pointless facts about me. Because why not. 🤷🏻♂️